NOTE: Once again, the medium is satirical – but the numbers are a serious as cancer. JkdeG
Pile On Mucho Mas Lab Tests

 
Jose Conjo, CHBC
   Lab tests are to hospitals what booze is to a restaurant: Where the money's at.
   And our doctors at Broward Health order lab tests like drunks go for two-for-one shots at happy hour (to belabor the analogy).
   Anyhow...
   Slamming our patients with tons of lab tests is a major reason for our Powerful Profits at Broward Health.
   What's more, this is a key point to our financial success that our new Commissioners need to appreciate– and one that should be stressed at their upcoming Orientation meeting Thursday.
   Because when it comes to generating easy revenue, unnecessary lab tests are a sure sign that your hospital's administrators – and hospitalists – know how to milk a cash cow.
   Ideally, our graphics department will put together a Power Point presentation nailing the remarkable increase in the use of lab tests at your North Broward Hospital District.
   No question but our new Commissioners will want to break out the champagne when they see our kick-ass lab numbers – especailly compared to the Wuss numbers for our health care competition here in Broward.
   Like consider the increase in adjusted admissions* versus the increase in lab tests at various hospitals in Broward during the current decade:

                                    2000             2008                 % increase
Broward Health
Adjusted
Admissions             70,572          96,883             37.3%
Lab Tests                 2,128,853    3,373,363       58.7%
Per Adj. Admits     30.2               34.8                 15.2%
Memorial Health
Adjusted
Admissions             64,854         130,744           103.6%
Lab tests                  1,891,513     3,492,093      84.6%
Per Adj. Admits     29.2              26.7                (8.6%)
Private Hospitals
Adjusted
Admissions             119,303        96,150           (19.4%
Lab Tests                 3,139,836    2,475,001    (21.2%)
Per Adj. Admits     26.3               25.7                 2.3%

Yours for a Mucho Mas Bottom Line
Jose Conjo, CHBC
Certified Health Budget Consultant

*Adjusted admission – a healthcare industry baseline used to reflect both a hospital's payer mix plus its inpatient and outpatient population – thus allowing an accurate comparison of one hospital versus another.

SOURCES: Florida Agency for Health Care Administration
                  Broward Regional Health Planning Council.