Fort Lauderdale boasts solid gold toilets, millionaire Indians and the only giant pyramid for the dead outside of Egypt.
   So why not a nun knocking down six figures a year?
   Fair question.
   Because Sister Rita Laveasseur of the Sisters of Mercy earns more than $200,000 a year as corporate vice president in charge of her Order's Divine Mission at the tax-exempt Holy Cross Medical Center in Fort Lauderdale.
   This according to the hospital's latest 990's on file at Guidestar.com.
   I suppose my problems “processing” Sister Rita's six-figure paycheck stem from my unchurched childhood – where my close up knowledge of nuns consisted of:
        - Ingrid Bergman as Sister Mary Benedict with Bing Crosby as Father Chuck
          O'Malley in The Belle of Saint Mary's.
        - Or Peggy Wood as the silver-haired Mother Abbess who sang “Climb Every Mountain” while Julie 
           Andrews fled the Nazis after Sister Margaretta and Sister Bertha sabotaged the Gauleiter's car in 
          The Sound of Music.
         - Or Audry Hepburn as Sister Luke who helped Peter Finch heal African lepers after choosing
           Jesus over Hitler.
     Okay.
     Mea maybe culpa
     Because I could be a tad overly snarky about Sister Rita's annual six-figure paycheck.
    Which includes a $5,400 expense account.
    All for directing Holy Cross Hospital's mission for God.
    And the mission which Sister Rita directs?
    “Holy Cross Hospital,” its official website proclaims, “is to serve the healthcare needs of persons of all faiths and cultures by providing quality health care with Christ-like compassion.”
     More specifically, the Catholic hospital stresses a special “commitment to those who are poor ,” noting, “we give priority to those whom society ignores.”
     So...
     How well is Sister Rita doing her Christ-like job as Vice President for Mission Effectiveness at Holy Cross?
     Well, to put it bluntly, Jesus' blessed “poor” are a rarity at Holy Cross.
     Just consider the Charity Lite load Holy Cross carries compared to Broward's other private hospitals – as detailed in my two previous posts.
     Oh yes.
     My first experience with Holy Cross was back in 1998 when the Sisters of Mercy fired the hospital's local board of directors to gain control over some $70 million in local charity funds (the Sisters won after egregiously bullshitting then Florida Attorney General Bob Butterworth about their plans for the money).
     But that, as they say, was years ago, dollars over the dam, and blood under the bridge.
     Which brings us to the dregs of the decade and the year of Our Lord 2009 when....
     As part of their Divine Mission, Sister Rita and Holy Cross want local residents to cough up some $26-million to expand the Jim Moran Heart and Vascular Research Institute (named after the late Toyota Mogul and convicted Federal tax scammer).
     Okay.
     It's not like the Sisters of Mercy don't need the money.
     Like Holy Cross ended last year some $25 million in the red.
     Plus it owes its bond and mortgage holders another $125 million or so.
     Along with $5 million-plus in annual interest .
     And now it looks like the Sisters must return a million bucks worth of other people's money the hospital received from Fort Lauderdale's Ponzi King and All-Around Shtarker Scott Rothstein.
    Which ain't chopped liver.
    No matter.
    The Good News is that, as a 501C non-profit corporation, Holy Cross pays bupkis in taxes.
    Plus any money donated to Holy Cross comes with a healthy write off in Federal taxes.
    Also, major donors are assured jewels in their heavenly crowns for bankrolling the Sisters' Christ-like Mission from God.
   All of which is why.... 
   There'd be no Holy Cross – without the untold mega-millions in tax-deductible donations from local businesses and residents during the non-profit hospital's past 50-plus years.
   And now the Sisters want another $26 million to bankroll their holy work at the late Toyota dealer's heart center.
   Naturally, this begs an obvious question:
   Like what's up with God's work when it comes to good deeds versus bad hearts at Holy Cross?
   Like Jesus never said, “I was sick and you looked after me because I could pay,” in my version of Mathew 25:35-36
    But I digress.
    Thus,  what follows is a comparison of Holy Cross Hospital's mission to “needy” heart patients compared to its for profit counterparts – plus the tax-supported Broward General and Memorial Regional hospitals:

Diagnosis: Congestive Heart Failure
Five Year Totals – 2004 through 2008
“Needy” Patients (1)
Non Profit Hospitals
Holy Cross
Total          9,544
“Needy”     351    3.7%
Cleveland Clinic
Total         2,964
“Needy”    174      5.9%
For Profit
Florida Medical
Total         11,127
“Needy”    993     8.9%
North Ridge
Total         3,645
“Needy”     162     4.4%
Northwest
Total          7,932
“Needy”     347     4.4%
Plantation
Total          2,496
“Needy”     584     23.4%
University
Total          6,128
“Needy”     212     3.5%
Westside
Total           8,108
“Needy”     350     4.3%
Public Hospitals
Broward General
Total           8,945
“Needy”     1,950    21.8%
Memorial Regional
Total          13,183
“Needy”     2,312     17.5%

(1) "Needy” = Medicaid, Self Pay and Charity patients

SOURCE: Agency for Health Care Administration